Nude Nuns with Big Guns is a 2010 film directed by Joseph Guzman and it is everything you think it is. This is the kind of film that has come back since the 2007 Grindhouse double feature. It's the style you know well if you are on this website. A new film made to look and have the same feel as exploitation films of the past. Unlike a lot of the new breed of exploitation films, this one is plays straight for the most part. It isn't a spoof or a mockery like the guys at Astron6 have been known for. It is an attempted and a real exploitation film. Does it hit the mark? I think so.
The plot of this movie is the good old revenge story. A young nun is a member of a corrupt clergy that has a side project of selling smack when it's not saving immortal souls. She is found with her lesbian lover, who is also a nun, and sent off to be used in human sex slavery. Her and her lover are forced into being hooked on hero into keep them under control as unwilling sex slave. The hero nun of the story gets free and the clergy sends a violent biker gang after her. The Nun may or may not hear god's voice telling her to punish the clergy and biker gang and then does what comes natural in this sort of movie. What follows is exactly what you paid your money for.
It hits all the bases of a nunsploitation film. You get ultra violence, rape, drug use, strippers, bikers, straight sex, lesbian sex, guns, shooting, gun shot to the penis, dirty priests, machine guns, cruel head nuns, the mafia, revenge killings, lesbian rape and nudity. Of course you get nude nuns but the guns aren't really all that big sad to say.
The film is shot pretty well for low budge with some nice lighting. I am a suck for red neon and this film delivered on that. Sadly the film makers used CG for the gun fire and wounding FX in places and that is regretful. One glaringly bad use of CGI is the sister firing her Thompson machine gun in the final firefight and we do not see not one fired case kicking out of the gun and in most shots of her firing we don't even get to see muzzle flash. I thought this was a poor choice for things to skimp on when it came to budget. It really made the film seem like something made in my backyard, Some decent FX at that point would have really helped the realism.
The cast is not anyone I have heard of but the lead nun on her mission of holy revenge is Asun Ortega a Spanish actress and model. She does a worthy job in the film. Looking her up she has done some voice acting in the Grand Theft Auto video games and was in another masterpiece called Bikini Killers Club, No doubt a work of fine art. She is definitely good enough to make you believe she is a slightly crazy nun out for revenge and to save her lover. Another stand out character in the film is "kickstand" the biker gangs enforcer-rapist.
Keep in mind though this movie is very sexually violentand there is no doubt casualviewers may really be shocked. This film is very graphic on all levels and is more in like with something like I Spit on Your Grave but with a slight bit of very dark humor added.
The entire cast listed below.
- Asun Ortega as Sister Sarah
- David Castro as Chavo
- Perry D'Marco as Father Carlitos
- Maxie J. Santillan Jr. as Mr. Foo
- Ivet Corvea as Mistress Charlotte
- Aycil Yeltan as Sister Angelina
- Emma Messenger as Mother Magda
- Bill Oberst Jr. as Father John
- Maz Siam as Father Bernardo
- Xango Henry as Kickstand
- Robert Rexx as Half Breed
- Jessica Elder as Beverly
- Alfonso Castro as Father Frank
- Rene Arreola as Lobo
- Sarah Emmons as Butch
If you like your throwback exploitation films dark gritty and extra sleazy like they used to be and are ready for some very graphic violence of every variety this movie may be for you. It is not of the style of "grindhouse" films like Hobo With A Shotgun,, Planet Terror , Death Proof or the like, it is meant to really be in your face and have no appeal tomainstream movie goers. With that in mind I give it a recommend withthe warning that it is aimed for the fan who likes the more extreme end of the exploitation cinema world.