Tara B True is a real special kind of lady, a real SUPER kind of lady. She has it all: a career, a new man in every city, a black belt in Karate and all the test results have all been negative so far. Yes, Tara really is the architype of the modern woman - according to the men at Crown International Pictures; that's right, heavy weighs the crown my friends.
Leave it to Crown International to make a pro-female empowerment movie that sets women back 50 years. I'll give them credit, at least they didn't call it "Super Broad". Despite having some of the worst production values of all time Crown was incredibly proud of this film. How do I know this? See for yourself:
Yes, that's right, Tara is a flight attendant for Crown International Airlines; something we could have only dreamed of being real. It was almost as if they had this here as a placeholder, ready for a big airline sponser that just never came.
The real problem with Superchick lies in it's insistence that Tara is a powerful independant woman. The idea of an independant woman is not the problem, it's the way she goes about getting that "power". Sleeping with multiple men and refusing to settle down, dressing like a complete hussy, and playing dumb when it helps her get out of jam; real qualities that any modern woman should aspire to. It doesn't help that all the male characters are constantly criticizing her for her independance and even breaking the 4th wall at one point to proclaim, "and to think one day she's going to be someone's mother". These are the things that make Superchick great; watching Crown swing for the fences only to strike out again and again is always entertaining.
Beyond the content of the film, the production values are something to behold. I have never seen a movie that cares less about camera moves, lighting, audio recording, and pretty much anything involved with actually making a film. Camera moves are best described as haphazard at best, the audio is barely intelligable and for god sakes they NEVER CUT! 90 percent of the scenes take place in one shot.
Don't believe me?
THIS IS AN ACTUAL SHOT IN THIS MOVIE!!
Now can you see what we are dealing with here? It's like the director just pushed the cinematographer to the side, grabbed the tripod and jerked it over to the picture himself. In the words of the stereotypical asian Karate master:
I encourage everyone to watch Superchick. If only to learn exactly how NOT to make a movie. It is truly a one-of-a-kind piece of garbage that is endleslly enjoyable. It's a real treat.
NEXT WEEK'S MOVIE:
We have one more Crown International Classic coming your way (for now).
Director: George Bowers
Starring: Matt Lattanzi, Caren Kaye, Kevin McCarthy, Crispin Glover!